科学小怪蛋(科学小怪蛋igor)

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科学小怪蛋 伊戈尔

天气很不错吧?

Nice weather were having huh?

在瘴气王国里

Here in the kingdom of Malaria

每天的都阴雨连绵 还渗透着百分之百的恐怖

every days forecast is rainy with a 100% chance of horror.

但它不总是像现在这样的

It wasnt always like this though.

很多年前 瘴气王国是农民们的阳光乐园

Years ago Malaria was a sunny land of farmers.

直到神秘的暴风雨云袭来 从此就再也没有停止

Until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in and never left.

它们杀死了我们的农作物 人们就此变得贫穷

They killed our crops and our people became poor.

而那时瘴气国国王...

And thats when King Malbert...

想到了一个赚钱的新方法

thought up a new way for us to make money

邪恶发明

Evil Inventions.

就是那种毁掉你 杀死你然后又让你活过来

The kind that crush you kill you bring you back to life

然后又再杀你一次 或更邪恶

then kill you again way worse.

我们发明 全世界付钱禁止我们发行

We invent them and the world pays us not to unleash them.

噢 那可是个好勾当 特别当你是个邪恶科学家

Oh Its a great gig especially if youre an Evil Scientist.

名望 财富 还有山上的免租城堡

Fame fortune a rent-free castle in the hills.

他们得到一切 站在顶峰

They get it all.Theyre the top of the heap.

伊戈尔! 拉电闸!

Igor! Pull the switch!

是的 主人!

Yes Master!

在底部沉沦的? 就是像我这样的可怜虫

And the bottom of the heap? Those are the poor slobs like me

生来就驼背的伊戈尔们

born with a hunch on our back Igors.

事实上 那个伊戈尔不是我

Actually that Igors not me.

伊戈尔! 拉电闸!

Igor! Pull the switch!

是的 主人!

Yes Master!

不 不 不 那也不是我

No no no thats not me either.

这是我 看到了吧? 我和其他人一点都不一样

Thats me. See? I look nothing like those other guys

长得好看多了

much better-looking.

总之 所有的伊戈尔都被迫为邪恶科学家们服务

Anyway all Igors are forced to serve Evil Scientists.

我们的生命就是永远上不完的夜班

Our life is a permanent graveyard shift.

但是我从来不想做一个伊戈尔

But I never wanted to be an Igor.

我想成为一个邪恶科学家

I always wanted to be an Evil Scientist.

很不幸 我背上的肉瘤决定了

Unfortunately the hunch on my back was a one-way ticket

我只能上伊戈尔学校

to Igor School.

我的专业是如何出言不逊 毕业时拿到了硕士学位

I majored in Talking With a Slur and graduated with a Yes Masters Degree.

然后 是时候找份工作了

Then it was off to find a job.

嗨 我是为"招聘伊戈尔"广告而来的 我的名字叫伊戈尔

Hi Im here about the "Igor Wanted" ad. My names Igor.

嗯 那是当然的了 我驼背嘛

Well of course it is. Ive got a hunch on my back.

还能叫什么名字? 凯文?

Whats my name gonna be? Kevin?

他们不太欣赏我富有创造性的方式

They didnt appreciate my creative style.

但最终 我在格里斯丁博士那找到工作

But eventually I landed a job for Dr. Glickenstein.

拉电闸!

Pull the switch!

不是最聪明的科学家

Not the smartest scientist.

他的上一个发明是邪恶的意大利面

His last invention was an Evil Lasagna.

那杀不了任何人 而事实上 味道还很不错

It didnt kill anyone. And it actually tasted pretty good.

伊戈尔!

Igor!

伊戈尔是不允许搞发明的

Igors arent allowed to invent

但是我还是能暗地里做我的发明

but I still manage to work on my own inventions in secret.

而这个新的发明将会证明

And this new one is gonna be the one that proves

我是才是最天才的邪恶科学家 而不只是一个普通的

that Im the biggest Evil Genius of them all and not just another...

伊戈尔!

Igor!

一旦他们看到我的能力 我就能拥有一个崭新的生活

Once they see what I can do Ill have a whole new life

而我就再也不用回应主人了

and Ill never have to answer to another master again.

-抱歉 主人 -你说什么?

Sorry Master. What did you say?

噢! 我是说...

Oh! I mean...

抱歉 主人 我刚刚在厕所

Sorry Master. I was in the bathroom.

有只蝙蝠困在钟楼里了 要是你知道说什么 主人

Had a bat stuck in the belfry if you know what I mean Master.

我不想听你的厕所回忆录 你这个白痴!

I dont want to hear your toilet memoirs you cretin!

我每周给你5分钟处理自己的事情

I give you five minutes a week to take care of your business.

我这里不是开度假村!

Im not running a resort here!

现在滚过去...

Now get over there and...

拉电闸!

Pull the switch!

是的 主人!

Yes Master!

是这样了!是这样了!

Yes! Yes!

是这样了!

Yes!

谁才是失败者呀 妈妈?

Whos the failure now Mother?

妈咪 妈咪 你是对的!

如何将蓝牙耳机连接到Mac电脑？打开苹果选单。Apple选单在银幕左上角的苹果图案里，点击后，将出现一个下拉选单。然后点击系统偏好设定。

Mummy Mummy you were right!

我就不是做科学家的料

I was never meant to be a scientist.

我应该像你一样做个水管工人!

I should have been a plumber like you!

这是他全天说的唯一正确的话

That was the first time he was right all day.

你!去给我找160亿瓦的临时转换器!

You! Go find me a 16-gigawatt temporal transducer!

对不起 主人 你确定你不是要210亿瓦的吗?

Excuse me Master are you sure you dont mean 21-gigawatt?

你在纠正我吗?

Youre correcting me?

全中!

Strike!

我应该多来点即兴发挥

I should do more improv.

我的肉瘤

My hunch.

噢 她又回来了 好多了

Oh there she goes. Much better.

晚上好 朋友们!

Good evening friends!

这是斯坎普 我最成功的发明之一

Thats Scamper one of my most successful inventions.

我令他永不死亡

I made him immortal.

但是那对他来说却是一种困扰 因为他根本不想活下去

Which is kind of a hassle for him since he doesnt want to live.

有什么能阻止这种恶性循环吗?

Will nothing end this vicious cycle?

我让他会说话

I also made him talk.

那对我来说是一种困扰 因为他永远不能闭上嘴

Which is a hassle for me since he never shuts up.

不公平!

No fair!

你的不死配方用错对象了 伊戈尔

You wasted your immortality formula on the wrong guy Igor.

这是布莱恩 我的另外一个发明

Thats Brain one of my other inventions.

传说世界上最聪明的人死后

Legend has it when the smartest man in the world died

他们把他的脑袋放到一个罐子里

they put his brain in a jar.

这不是那个脑袋

This is not that brain.

我想永远活下去! 有计划! 有梦想!

I wanna live forever! I got plans! And dreams!

我有个吱吱声的轮子! 那是我吗?

I got a squeaky wheel! Was that me?

真的 布莱恩?

Really Brain?

你想被困在无止境的噩梦当中

You want to be trapped in an endless existential nightmare

强迫着活下去

forced to keep living

即使生命毫无意义

even though life is meaningless

什么都不重要?

and nothing matters?

有可能

Possibly.

你到底在说什么?

What exactly did you say?

也很抱歉他把不死秘方 浪费在我身上

Too bad he wasted his intelligence formula on me too Brain.

还是我应该叫你"布莱恩"?

Or should I say "Brian"?

嗨!我赶时间呢!

Hey! I was in a hurry!

天文相机和普通相机之间的区别就是，天文相机对于感光芯片的要求很高，长时间的曝光要求感光芯片的噪点要低。

白痴的永久标记

Stupid permanent marker.

够了

Enough.

邪恶科学节还有一个星期就到了

The Evil Science Fair is in a week

格里斯丁又要再一次输了

and Glickenstein is gonna lose again.

好吧 我知道了 你想我修补他的发明

Okay I get it. You want me to fix his invention.

现在我只需要一个螺丝起子 一些钉子 还有我那袋大理石

Now Ill just need a screwdriver some nails and my bag of marbles.

别碰他的发明 布莱恩

Dont touch his invention Brain.

好吧! 你不想利用我聪明的大脑?

Fine! You dont want the benefit of my brain power?

那么 再见 伊戈尔

Then farewell Igor.

像个绅士一样 我是时候离开这里了

Like a gentle fawn I shall leave this meadow.

再认真想想 我还是留下来吧

On second thought maybe Ill stick around

那么我就可以看着聪明罗锅先生

so I can watch Mr. Smarty-hunch

修补格里斯丁的发明

fix Glickensteins invention.

我可以的! 但是你知道后果会怎样

I could! But you know what would happen if I did!

后果和发现我发明了你们两个一样

The same thing hed do if he found out I invented you two.

他将我做废物处理

Hed recycle me.

你可以想象被砍成几节 被利用做身体部件

Can you imagine being chopped up and used for body parts

天知道还有什么?

and God knows what else?

太可怕了

Horrible.

糟透了! 还活着

Dang it! Still here.

要是我有机会

If I had my shot

我可以成为瘴气王国 最伟大的邪恶科学家

I could be one of the greatest Evil Scientists Malaria has ever seen.

他们会为我而欢呼

Theyd all cheer my name

就像他们对沙登弗里德博士一样

just like they do for the great Dr. Schadenfreude!

现在有请灾祸大师 悲痛领袖

And now your master of disaster the chief of grief

一个不需要多做介绍的人

a man who needs no introduction

但要是我不好好地介绍他 会残忍的折磨我的人

but who will brutally torture me if he doesnt get one

沙登弗里德博士!

Dr. Schadenfreude!

谢谢你 谢谢你 你们非常善良

Thank you thank you. Youre too kind

但是我不是